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Archive for the ‘relationships’ tag

May 23rd, 2014 at 9:26 am

Reflections on 15 Years of Marriage

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Yesterday was my anniversary…my husband and I have been married for 15 years. When I think back to all the things we have done and experienced in that time, I am amazed. We have grown so much since then, had two children, battled cancer, purchased a house, and so much more. We wanted to share some advice with you from things we have learned along the way.

Don’t take life too seriously. Go with the flow.

Talk about everything, and talk often.

Spend time together as a family. Find a hobby that you can do together.

Take time to go on dates.

Do things around the house that may be things your partner typically takes care of. It will make them happy that you crossed some items off their list.

Bad things happen, but you’ll get through them.

Sometimes they don’t want your advice or opinion – they just want you to listen.

A little spontaneity goes a long way.

Make your spouse your best friend – they should be the person you always run to first!

Encourage and celebrate with your spouse. Let their joys be yours.

You will have times in your marriage when you feel alone, and far apart – fight to come together.

No matter how long you’ve been together, you are never to old to flirt.

Always remember the reason you fell in love.

 

What have you learned in your marriage, and what advice would you give others?

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October 3rd, 2011 at 5:00 am

Have you been on a date lately?

I’ve been married for 12 1/2 years. Plus, I started dating my husband 9 years before that. That’s a long time and sometimes life gets in the way of our marriage.

Now that we have kids and a busy life we don’t always take time for each other. In face, we rarely take time for each other.

With our busy schedules between hubby’s work, my work at home, kids activities, school and household chores at the end of the night we usually just wind down by watching some television. There isn’t much quality time with just me and him.

So, after I had two mini-breakdowns this week (both over never-ending laundry and the inability to find sports shirts for the kids activities) I decided a break was needed. But, I know we’ve needed a break for a while. Something for just us. Originally we had a weekend getaway planned, but his work came in the way and the getaway was canceled.

We hadn’t taken time for a “date” since early this summer, so I made this a priority for the past weekend. We didn’t do anything that fancy, just some dinner at one of our favorite spots and a visit to a “Gallery Walk” in our cities downtown area.

Date night is a great refresher for your relationship. It is time for “us” to reconnect as a couple and doesn’t really matter what we do. It’s an important part of our relationship as spouses and our relationship as a family.

Need some date ideas? You don’t always have to leave the house to have a date – its about just taking some time out. Here’s some ideas:

  • After the kids are in bed, how about a picnic dinner and a movie in the living room
  • A game of bowling on the Wii
  • Cook dinner together and dine by candlelight at the kitchen table
  • Have dessert for dinner together
  • Work as a team to conquer a home project. Help fold the laundry or clean the garage. The teamwork is a great way to feel connected as a couple.
  • Hold a snowball or water balloon fight
  • Get some Mad Libs and hang out on the couch making each other laugh.
My recent date has inspired me to make “dating” a weekly occurrence, if all it means is a card game of War. Do you have any great date ideas to share?

Kim Ross also writes at  A Little Bit of This and That ~ The Adventures of a Stay at Home Mom.

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August 10th, 2011 at 5:00 am

Parrot Talk

My husband loves birds, particularly parrots. When we first met, he had a Bare-eyed Cockatoo named Clyde. Pure white with a tell-tale bluish-gray ring around his eyes, he had a beautiful crest that he would raise like the feathered headdress of a native prince.

Like many parrots, he was an excellent mimic and could do a perfect imitation of a sitcom laugh track. He also loved to dance. Whenever he heard a song that he liked, he would rock out, rolling his head back and forth, raising one should of his wing and then the other, and lifting one foot off his perch and then the other, all in rhythm with the music. That boy had moves.

At least, we think he was a boy. It’s hard to tell with birds. Clyde and I got along just fine in the beginning. We weren’t close, but he tolerated me … for a while. Once he figured out that I was sticking around,  everything changed. He would move to bite me every time I got close, so I stopped getting close.

The thing about birds, especially parrots, is that they often bond very strongly with one individual. One time, after Kenn and I started getting serious, he had to go out of town and asked me to take care of Clyde. I said I would, but I wanted to make sure he would let me close enough to refill his food and water dishes. With Kenn watching, I approached Clyde’s cage. The minute I stuck my hand inside, he bit me. Not hard — that beak could have taken off my thumb, exerting more than 200 pounds of pressure — but hard enough to draw a little blood.

I’m not proud of this, but I started swearing at the bird. The more I swore, the harder Kenn laughed. The harder he laughed, the angrier I got until I finally shouted: “It’s me or the bird.” Because that’s another thing about parrots: they can live a long time. Clyde was young, and Bare-eyed cockatoos can live 50 years or more. I was not about to spend the next 40+ years of my life with a bird who hated me.

Kenn and I recently celebrated our 22 anniversary. We sold Clyde before we got married. I hope he’s still dancing wherever he is.

Bare-eyed Cockatoo photo (not Clyde) by Rebecca O’Connor.

Susan Bearman also writes at Two Kinds of PeopleMike&Ollie: 24-weekers Who Beat the Odds and The Animal Store Blogas well as being a regular contributor to The Chicago Moms and Technorati.


 

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