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Archive for the ‘advice’ tag

May 23rd, 2014 at 9:26 am

Reflections on 15 Years of Marriage

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Yesterday was my anniversary…my husband and I have been married for 15 years. When I think back to all the things we have done and experienced in that time, I am amazed. We have grown so much since then, had two children, battled cancer, purchased a house, and so much more. We wanted to share some advice with you from things we have learned along the way.

Don’t take life too seriously. Go with the flow.

Talk about everything, and talk often.

Spend time together as a family. Find a hobby that you can do together.

Take time to go on dates.

Do things around the house that may be things your partner typically takes care of. It will make them happy that you crossed some items off their list.

Bad things happen, but you’ll get through them.

Sometimes they don’t want your advice or opinion – they just want you to listen.

A little spontaneity goes a long way.

Make your spouse your best friend – they should be the person you always run to first!

Encourage and celebrate with your spouse. Let their joys be yours.

You will have times in your marriage when you feel alone, and far apart – fight to come together.

No matter how long you’ve been together, you are never to old to flirt.

Always remember the reason you fell in love.

 

What have you learned in your marriage, and what advice would you give others?

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April 25th, 2011 at 3:00 am

Sleep when the Baby Sleeps

This weekend was the last time I will see my sister before she becomes a mother. She is due to have a baby boy in only a few short weeks. Talking with her about the baby brought me back to when I first became a mother, six short years ago.

There is so much advice you get thrown at you. It can be about nursing, taking care of yourself, caring for the baby, labor and delivery, baby necessities and more. I remember feeling so overwhelmed yet armed with information about being a mother.

Then I had Ian……

and it all went out the window. All the advice in the world cannot prepare you for the journey of motherhood.

So, as my sister and her husband asked for my wisdom this past weekend, I gave them three pieces of advice that I want to share wiht you.

The first is something so many of us hear and don’t always use - Sleep when the Baby Sleeps.

This is so important for so many reason, but mostly because you need to sleep. The dirt in the house will be there when you wake up and the laundry will get done. It is so hard to let things go, but without sleep you aren’t able to provide your child with the best you!

The second advice is something I still use today - Do what you have to, to get through the day.

Now, along with this advice obviously comes a warning if you are doing something that may be hurtful to the child that is not acceptable. Sometimes people seem so overwhelmed living up to expectations that they forget to keep their own sanity in tact.

When Ian was a baby he only napped 45 minutes at a time, with one exception. If  he were to fall asleep driving in the car , after 20 minutes of sleeping you could put him in bed and he would sleep for several hours.

So, almost every afternoon, for several months, we would drive around country roads until Ian fell asleep for 20 minutes. When we hit that magical time we would go home and he would transfer perfectly and I would get a good 3 hour afternoon nap out of him. People laughed at me because I was not only wasting time, but also money on gas. To me, it meant my sanity.

I also was told that I was creating bad sleeping habits for my son by doing this. At age 6, my son still occassionally naps on his own and is a very sound sleeper. He goes to sleep easily at nighttime, also.

The driving phase lasted about 6 months, but is what saved me. Sometimes I do this with my 3 year old who refuses to nap now, but sometimes desperately needs one. It’s what gets me through the day.

My last piece of advice to my sister was to DO what worked for HER family. Don’t worry what works for everyone else, Don’t get me wrong, the advice of others is priceless. But in the end you need to decide what schedule, feeding method, sleep arrangement, and so much more works for YOU. You are the parent and know what is best for your child in the end and if you feel something works well, don’t worry what others think. It really comes down to every family, baby, and lifestyle being different.

I am excited to become an Aunt and see my new nephew grow up as I have watched my boys. I am also excited to watch my sister start her journey into motherhood.

Kim Ross also writes at A Little Bit of This and That ~ The Adventures of a Stay at Home Mom.

 

 

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