Garanimals Blog

May 26th, 2011 at 9:08 am

Funny New Parent Stories

By

Hi all, Amy here again. While Christine is still getting her footing with baby number three, I have had the pleasure of reminiscing about my early days of parenting and remembering what it felt like to have an infant. Living your life through the lens of a new baby can sometimes turn the most level-headed individual into one with not such wonderful judgement. I think when you leave the hospital with that little baby in your arms there should be a warning sticker on the receiving blanket that tells you not to operate heavy machinery or make any significant life decisions for at least a month. Sure, it is worse the first time around, but even with the next baby you still lose a few brain cells that you need to replenish. They do come back fairly quickly, but for the most part you are less than your usual self.

Do I see a bunch of new moms out there nodding their heads in agreement? I thought so.

I thought it would be fun to confess a few of my better stories about being a new parent.

Story 1: Baby is 2 weeks old. I have had a C-section and I am finally given the green light to drive. The ‘big outing’ is to the drug store to pic up some things. I dress the baby in a special outfit. I pack a full diaper bag complete with 2 changes of clothes, 5 diapers, wipes, Balmex, thermometer, Tylenol, a blanket and nail clippers. (I know, the nail clippers were the most ridiculous – was I going to stop on the side of the road and clip her nails?) I put the baby in the car with the stroller (I am sweating by now), drive the half a mile to the drug store, unload the stroller, the baby, the diaper bag (with nail clippers of course) and enter the store. It takes a total of 6 minutes to gather what I need and purchase it. It took me 4 times as long to get ready for the trip!

Story 2: Baby is crying uncontrollably all night long at 6 weeks old. There is nothing we can do to console her. Both my husband and I are walking the floor all night, trying to soothe this poor devil sweet baby. Suddenly my husband turns to me in horror and says, “What if it is internal bleeding?” I stop in my tracks, start laughing and then say, “Oh hon, I am thinking an ear infection is more likely, but thanks for the laugh.”

Story 3: This one is not mine but one that a husband relayed to me at a birthday party. He and his wife wake in the middle of the night to the baby crying. His wife tells him to go cover the baby with a blanket because she assumes he is cold. When he gets back to bed she asks if he had used the blanket that matched the bumpers. He looks at her as if she were crazy and points out that it was dark in the room and he was pretty sure the little guy couldn’t tell.

Do you have any funny new parent stories? We would love to hear them. Feel free to share in the comments.

Pin It

2 Comments on 'Funny New Parent Stories'

Subscribe to comments with RSS or TrackBack to 'Funny New Parent Stories'.

  1. When i was pregnant with my son i read an articale about a woman who forgot to point her sons boy parts down and he would constantly pee on his out fits. even after readin that i still made that mistake it took me about 2 weeks to figure it out.

    Jessica

    29 May 11 at 12:07 pm

  2. It only takes once to figure that one out, right? ; )

    Amy

    29 May 11 at 2:17 pm

Post a Comment